I'm a facebook addict. I haven't actually kept track, but my best guess is that I spend upwards of 8 hours a day on there. I joined in 2008 so that's about 20,000 hours of my life so far. Sometimes I'll have it up on my phone and my computer at the same time. I check it first thing when I wake up and last thing before I got to bed. I check at every meal, while watching tv, at red lights, in traffic, and while on the toilet. My thoughts come in the form of status updates and every picture I take is for the sole purpose of sharing on there. I don't experience anything in life anymore that I don't consider sharing with 335 "friends". And although all that is plenty of reason to get off of there, none of that is why I will actually be taking a break. Here are the reasons:
1) I miss connecting with people. I know, I know, what better way to connect with people than to share intimate details of your life with hundreds of them? And to read their stories, see their meals, watch videos of their kids dance recitals?! Truth, facebook has provided a way to connect to so many people that I never would have been in touch with otherwise. Yes, it's allowed me to regain contact with old schoolmates/theater friends/bosses/babysitters. Here's the issue: it's all so superficial. I may know what you had for breakfast, but do I know how you are feeling that morning? Great, you got a new job, do I know how it's going for you? Facebook posting has replaced conversations. You THINK you know someone, but all you know is what they are willing to post. I don't want to accept that as enough. I want to know the real you, not the one that you are presenting for all the (facebook) world to see. I want to spend time on the phone with you, checking in to hear about your day. I want to exchange long emails. I want to dig deeper than what you are putting out there on facebook. Also, I don't want to see pictures of your food. Ever.
2) Most of the time spent on facebook results in my feeling like shit about my own life. This one is multi-faceted so I'll break it down:
2a) My husband doesn't love me enough. So many couples are on there posting about their unyielding love for each other. They can't say enough about how beautiful, amazing, smart, talented, perfect-in-every-way their partner is. What better way to express your love than to announce it to everyone you know? I'm not even being snarky. I truly believe that's a great way to show you love someone. However, I'm married to someone who does not subscribe to that same concept. He is private. He loves me privately. In his mind he loves me equally to those who are so open about it, maybe even more. After all, how can posting about the amazing time you are having on date night be an accurate reflection of how amazing it really is? Wouldn't you be so engrossed and involved in the date that posting about it would detract from the amazingness (my husband's thoughts, not wrong, but not mine).
2b) You are having so much fucking fun and I wasn't invited. This is definitely one of my least favorite aspects of facebook. Your friends openly post about how excited they are about an event, you get to see pictures of them having the best fucking time ever, and then you get to read about how great it was and how sad they are that it's over. Yet, you blatantly weren't ever told about it. You had this weird stalker, voyeuristic experience of the whole thing. Gone are the days of trying to prevent hurting other people's feelings. Nowadays, everyone is out there publicly showing off their exclusion with no shame or concern for how other people may feel. I've, literally, lost friendships over this. It just plain sucks.
2c) You got cast in a show and I didn't (or you got nominated for an award and I didn't). This only applies to my theater friends, but that makes up about 80% of my facebook friends so it's a major issue. Even better when I find out that you got cast and I didn't by reading about it on facebook. Yay! I suck and you're awesome!
2d) You are prettier/skinnier/tanner/younger than I am. Great. Your kids are also smarter/more talented/cuter than mine. Even better.
3) The pressure to be funny/insightful/witty/riveting. It's intense. If I don't get enough "likes" or comments I feel like I'm letting people down. Or even worse, that people just don't like me. Yes, I realize this is not a healthy approach at life, but it's my reality.
4) Surely there are better things I could be doing with my time. I'm not saying I could discover the cure for cancer with those extra 8 hours a day, but I could certainly find some more productive uses of my time. I openly admit that sometimes mindless scrolling on facebook is a great way to relax, but any more than an hour or so a day is excessive.
5) If I see another fucking Minion meme I might gouge out my eyeballs with a fork.
So, there you have it. All the reasons why I'm planning on taking a facebook hiatus. I don't feel the need to put any strict rules in place in terms of how long I'll be off, or how often I'll just check without writing anything. I just plan on posting on it less in an effort to develop deeper connections, and reading it less in an effort to feel better about my life, alleviate some stress and contribute to society in a more meaningful way. It's certain to be a challenge, but I think the results will be worth it. If not, I'll be back sooner than later. And that's ok. I'll post a Minion meme that expresses how much I missed it and jump right back in.
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